You dirty, dirty phekkers!!!!
Disappointed. Eh?
Well that’s how I feel.
I’m being disingenuous, this really should have been titled.
Why I am not going to be watching any football.
When I was a lad there was a total fever that would grip me and my mates as we watched the friendlies and the qualifiers and then the actual World Cup. Oh yes. Clear the decks buy a new telly and settle down to be entertained.
Well it all came crashing to a halt when I watched one of the most stunning goals ever. I had pleaded with them on my knees in front of the tellygod not to do anything. Just for once, as they’d so often done before, just fuck about and miss every opportunity. In fact just don’t bother, as so often before, recognising that there is another goal mouth at the other end of the pitch. Just fanny around mid field. The opposition will comply, nothing need be said, nothing written down, no contract signed, they are the coolest guys in the world. They will KNOW. Wink, nod, sorted. Both through to the next phase.
As I wept and wailed hoping that our skipper would pick up my telepathetic prayers. Don’t annoy them. Go for 0-0. If you score they’ll fuck us over. Just fuck around as usual.
Then they did this. Which was even worse than this.
I died that second.
And swore never to get hot under the collar again over a game of footie.
Well I came down to the Smoke years later, long after my heroes stopped qualifying for good and by chance watched this game. Go on I yelled at the screen over and over again. Stick it in the back of their net. Come on, you’re the best team out there get it over with the Final beckons. I beseeched the airs and rent the sky but an invisible force field seemed to keep that footie out the back of the oppositions’ net.It went to penalties. Phekk!!!
And since that day I’ve not bothered with the game at all.
So I’ve decided to take up this pastime over the next few weeks to keep my mind off it!!!
It was either that or the naked mixed doubles trampoline, can’t show the vid it is toooooo naughty.
Volunteers? :-)
Hertfordshire and San Fernando
3 years ago
